Entries tagged with carson

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: You (Ha Ha Ha) - Charli XCX

Entry tags:

Oops

Frustratingly convinced we don't actually have BPD again... We were totally sure we did just a week or less ago and now we're sure we don't again. Can we just have some consistency? Our big worry is that because we realized we might have BPD at ~18 that we were just mistaking other issues for that, despite knowing we fit the criteria. Our mood swings are our best indicator to prove to us that it's still there and we're sure our mood swings have calmed down lately.

We just wish we could feel consistent. We're not even sure if it's true that we haven't had as many mood swings. We might just be remembering things wrong, we've been dissociating a lot which... We don't really know why, except maybe because it's winter, and we're more stressed? Everything just feels horrible and weird and we're afraid we feel ~too ok~ with that, silly as that sounds. Oh Welllll.

Sorry for being so negative, we just didn't know where to post this. We have this crisis all the time!

- Pisces'

Current Mood: anxious
Current Location: The House's house :)
Current Music: Lucky Ones - Lana Del Rey

Entry tags:

carson,
life

stwess :(

We've been soooo stressed out for the past week bc we're starting a coding bootcamp and we just feel like we're busy/we've been having a lot of anxiety/mood swings and it's sapping our energy VoV. We wanna update here more but we just don't have the energy a lot, but hopefully things will feel slightly less stressful once we actually start? It's only 3 days a week, which isn't really that bad it just feels really scary rn. :<

- Carson

Current Mood: drained
Current Location: In My Room
Current Music: The Blue - Acid Bath

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Anniversary

Our and our partner system's seven year anniversary is coming up on tuesday! 10/10 :D

This weekend we went to a beach in a park that wasn't crowded at all, and it was super nice out! Every time we were wading and saw a wave coming you could see schools of little fish in the crest of the wave and then when the waves crashed all the little fish would dart back out and jump out of the water and stuff. It was so cool! We also saw a gator, gopher tortoise, raccoon, and turtle along the way.

It was mostly Me and Carson out, we are trying to get Mac and Daisy to come out more but I got all sad and stuff today and had a hard time letting go of the feelings so I could switch out better. Hopefully soon, I know they're here it's just hard not to hog the front for us. We got lots of sweet presents for our anniversary though! It was fun to exchange gifts, and all in all it was a great weekend!

There's probably more to write about but I'm just gonna leave it here I think. Hope everyone is having a nice night!

- Sunny & Carson

Current Mood: ditzy
Current Music: Animal Crossing

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Dreams

Last night we dreamed about the end of the world, which isn't unusual, but it was kinda somewhat less stressful than usual. A big percent of people had disappeared but our partner system was still there except at their house so we were separated. There was no electricity but there was still internet, but it was like.... Early, text-only internet, but we were chatting on it and I wanted to come over and pick them up and we were gonna drive to the west coast cause there was lots of people and food there.

We were gonna have to siphon gas from all the abandoned cars along the way, but we weren't that worried about food or anything, there was plenty of canned stuff. My cats were around but they were living only outdoors in overgrown back yards, we were kinda stressed about driving an stuff but mostly it was just kinda like... There's no responsibility, and everything is gonna be fine.

P.S. Why am I like the worst in the system about accidentally referring to ourselves/other systems as singlets lshkslfjls

- Carson

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Super Mario Galaxy OST

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We Need A Pisces Icon For Our Subsystem

Ahhhh, there's the icon. There were even better seal pics but that's the only one we could find that had 3 seals that would retain enough clarity in an icon format.

Anwyay, so we take up the majority of the fronting time in our system probably by a lot. That does change, we've had times where Mac, or Tracy, or Misty or even Daisy front most of the time, but right now, and for a long time it's been us (Carson, Sunshine, and sometimes CJ floating around). When we worry that we're faking being a system, our first thought is like, that we front so often but other people don't right now, so that must mean we're faking it, but we forget that things that other people outside our system can't see are also real. Like people who haven't fronted in a while have talked to us, and interacted with us, and chilled out with us, but just haven't actually Fronted, and that doesn't mean that their presence is any less than ours just 'cause we're fronting a lot lately.

- Pisces': Carson Anthony Peters, Sunshine "Sunny" Peters, CJ "Bonanza" Peters

Current Mood: silly
Current Music: Super Mario Galaxy OST

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Arty Art

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